The world is not beautiful, therefore it is. (dorrie6) wrote in emotionalperil,
The world is not beautiful, therefore it is.

Fanfiction Index

All fics listed by fandom. Crossovers are are grouped with the universe in which they are set, or the universe of the main POV character. This list includes publicly-available fanfic only. Some archived stories are locked to members only. To gain access to them, simply join the community. If you know the name of the fic you are looking for, a full list of titles (public and otherwise) can be found by accessing this journal's memories (click here for a list of dribbles). Click here for dorrie6's multi-fandom recs.

Banana Fish | Harry Potter | Hikaru no Go | xxxHolic | Other

~Harry Potter~
Note: all Harry Potter fanfiction on this site was written after books 5 or 6, and is now AU


The Past and Pending (Neville, Willow) ~ HP/BTVS ~ Neville interviews Willow as she recovers from the events of BTVS season 6.
It was a small cottage, at least from the outside; its yellow paint cracked and faded. Neville let himself enjoy the morning sunshine for a moment longer before he stepped on to the narrow cobblestone path that was overgrown with thistle and wild carrot. The teapot he carried felt heavier than it should have as he shifted it to grasp the overly large doorknocker, and he nearly lost some of its contents through the spout. He rapped as lightly as possible, to avoid disturbing the hive of bees buzzing nearby.
In Your Pocket You Carry Devotion (Neville/Remus) ~ Neville is sent to care for an injured Remus.
In the evenings, Neville read to him from one of the dusty books from Remus' shelves, or from the small stack he'd brought with him. Remus preferred Magical theory and Neville liked Muggle fiction (for which he loudly blamed Dean Thomas), so they would take turns choosing each evening's entertainment. Both of them ignored the stack of unread copies of The Daily Prophet growing steadily by the front door. It was these moments Remus particularly treasured, when he could imagine for however short a time that he was truly not alone and all was right with the world.
Making Promises (Neville, Dean) ~ Neville receives a gift from a friend. Set after In Your Pocket You Carry Devotion. Very short.
Neville smiled, fingers playing over the faded black print on the cover, considering how and when he might sit down to read it. Any token from a friend was a treasure these days, and Neville was not fool enough to squander it.


Contingency 1 | 2 (Harry/Draco) ~ Draco beats Harry at quidditch and his universe implodes.
Draco tried to speak, and nothing would come out. The owl still stared at him. He tried to move away from it, but his legs seemed to be frozen. The owl looked triumphant. Draco felt sick. Everything he had seen and heard in the last two days suddenly came together. He knew exactly what the parchment in that owl's beak would tell him. A part of him hoped that if maybe he did not take it, he could make it disappear. The owl did not move. Draco slowly inched forward, still unable to reach for the letter. He closed his eyes for a moment, his father's sneer appearing in front of them as he did so.
Weakness (Harry/Draco) ~ Sequel to Contingency. Draco finds out what he is worth.
The early morning hours passed quickly into the afternoon. Draco no longer had any sense of time. The bright lights in the Great Hall made the outside seem perpetually dark. When he finally was given a break from potion-making, he was surprised to step outside into soft daylight. The sky was slightly overcast, which gave an ethereal glow to the new snow on the ground. Draco let out a deep breath, watching the mist fade into nothing. He walked to the edge of the lake, which was not yet frozen over. He wondered what would happen if he jumped in. Death by squid or hypothermia seemed, at the moment, preferable to returning to the endless grim of the hospital.
Possession (Harry/Draco) ~ Sequel to Weakness. Double-drabble.
Strange how love changed things, even unspoken. A shy glance, an awkward hand...what was light and easy now felt fragile, in need of great care. The lonely dungeon dormitory shared so many times, now unrecognizable to the drunken eyes of new love.


All I Want Is Everything (James/Lily) ~ Lily Evans agrees to speak to James Potter if he will give up one of his most prized possessions.
Remus interrupted. "She doesn't want to know what you think is great about you, James," he said. "She wants to know what you think is great about her. Why you want her, more than anyone else."

"How do you know what she wants?" James asked.

Remus smiled quizzically. "It's what everyone wants," he said.
Trust the morning (Neville/Oz) ~ HP/BTVS ~ Oz is brought in to the Order of the Phoenix. Seven drabbles.
It was Remus who brought him in, small and quiet with that hair. He was different than the others, not worn and haunted like Remus or snarling and twitchy like the ones who worked for You Know Who. He crouched on the outskirts, vibrant and still, and Neville caught himself staring more times than was comfortable. He pushed down the disappointment when he lost sight of him after dinner, consoling himself with a fresh cup of tea. The hand on his shoulder was too gentle to be startling.
In Their Eyes Shall Shine (Harry, Draco, Neville) ~ Harry learns hard lessons in war.
It was during Harry Potter's seventh year at Hogwarts that the war with Voldemort truly began in earnest. Harry had never been one for heavy reading, but what struck him most strongly about the war was how accurate the poets were. The war was a shadow that seeped slowly over the land, bringing sickening death to everything it touched. It was the helplessness in Arthur Weasley's eyes as he stood at the center of a fallen Muggle village, all smoke and blackened grass. It was Luna Lovegood staring blankly at the letter reporting her father's death. It was Hermione scanning the Muggle obituaries at breakfast, her finger racing down the page, pausing almost imperceptibly at various points before she folded it up and stowed it away. Harry's old nightmares had abandoned him now, replaced by these new, more frightening images.
As Morning Shows the Day (Harry/Ron) ~ Harry thinks about boyhood and beyond as he prepares for his wedding.
Harry walked slowly through the corridors, passing portraits and statues, breathing deep the scent of canvas and old wood, letting his feet lead him. He wasn't surprised when he found himself at the foot of a familiar staircase. He placed his hand on the banister, moving his palm along the cool wood, no longer smooth after years of abuse. He grinned, bursting into a run. The staircase began to move beneath him, just as he leapt on to the landing. He continued running, around the second floor landing and to the next staircase, leaping four steps at a time, until finally he found himself, red-faced and breathing hard, facing the Fat Lady.
Something In Between (Neville, Gran) ~ A moment with Neville and his Gran as Neville hovers between school and life.
Most of them were taking flats in London, or camping out with Harry at Grimmauld Place. With war so imminent, nobody dared look past it. They were a generation interrupted, stalled at the gate. They'd finished their NEWTS in a sort of haze. Conversations about the future were free of the usual career talk, rarely venturing further than how to continue group Defence studies and where to go after the Leaving Feast. Neville had made his decision at Christmas, Gran's suddenly frail hand touching his arm, eyes full of fear as he'd never seen them before. It was enough to make him realize where he belonged.

Now that he was here, it seemed like a mistake, like something not quite real or not quite in the present. He could feel it starting already, the timid awkwardness of his younger self settling in like always. He pushed it back and stepped in further, feet shuffling against the hardwood floor.
Topology (Draco, Harry) ~ Draco maps out what is important in his world.
His father had taught him early on that his life might one day depend on the complete and detailed knowledge of his surroundings. At the age of four, he'd left Draco deep in the center of Malfoy Manor's tremendous garden maze, with instructions to find his way out. It was only after five hours that he returned to rescue his son, fragile and crying in soiled robes, still half a kilometer from the outer edge. He repeated this twice a week for the next month, until Draco had finally emerged late one evening at the maze's entrance, filthy and proud, demanding supper. After that, Draco went willingly, every afternoon, determined to find the shortest way--twenty steps, turn right, eleven steps, left--until he could run through it at full speed, eyes closed, without fear. When he had conquered the maze, Draco moved on to the surrounding gardens, with their endless stretches of herbs and flowers, trick cobblestones and hidden fountains.
Expiation (Draco, Harry) ~ Harry offers Draco the hand he refused him first year.
It was long and bony, a little bit sallow, definitely unclean, and rather bulbous at the thumb where it thrust toward him. It made Draco quite ill to look at it, actually. The fact that it was attached to Potter on the other end didn't help at all.
Not Exactly Trust (Harry/Draco) ~ Draco approaches Harry with an unlikely offer.
Malfoy smiled. "Whatever you say." He moved around to the other side of the table, facing Harry. "My point is, you're here for one reason, and one reason only. You hate that murdering bastard and you want him dead. Well..." His eyes were hard. "So do I."

Harry moved forward. "And that's your only reason."

Something Small (Harry) ~ "Absolute power..." and all that. Creepy.
Sometimes when Ron is talking, Harry wonders what it would be like to reach out with his mind and press on the side of his head. Gentle at first, no more than a feather's touch to Ron. He wonders then how it would feel to push a little harder, to watch Ron's temple indent gracefully until the pressure finally cracked his skull. He wonders how Ron's face would look... horror mixed with fascination... adrenalin so strong he couldn't tell fear from pleasure.
Hair's Breadth (Harry/Draco) ~ Set post-HBP, Harry finds Draco in a safehouse during the war.
Potter whirled around, eyes burning. "Don't you ever--" He inhaled sharply. Their faces were less than an inch apart, and as Draco's body wavered, their noses brushed. Neither of them moved away. Draco felt the warm mist of Potter's breath on his chin. He closed his eyes against the blurred half-vision of Potter, grasping for the ability to do something, and cursing the Snape voice which had now gone silent. The woods around them were unbearably still, though Draco thought it was possible that he had lost his hearing along with his senses. The only sound in his head was his own breathing, and Draco felt his chin tilt involuntarily toward the warmth of Potter's, just as it disappeared.
Waiting on the Rain (Harry, Draco) ~ Harry uses rain to hide from himself, and discovers something else.
It rained a lot that summer, after he'd lost Sirius. Harry would stand in the yard, hair dripping, the cool rain streaming over his face and down his chest, plastering his clothes to his body. He'd stay until he'd forgotten everything but cold and wet, and the world was hidden safely behind rain-streaked lenses.

When he returned to Hogwarts, it closed in on him, all the color and noise and the comfortable warmth. It crawled through his skin and moved toward his heart, threatening to wake it, to make him remember everything. The night it finally rained, he ran out, desperate, hardly caring if he was seen.
Yes No Maybe (Harry/Draco) ~ Draco seeks beginnings. Harry seeks endings. These are somehow the same thing.
Regret burned. It drew itself in dark swirls mixed with blood, finding something beyond skin, raw and immortal. It made you watch your mother cower before her husband, begging for death. It sat deep in your gut, forcing out hatred and sorrow until it landed in a puddle at your feet. Regret took hold of your heart until you forgot who your enemies were, or even what that meant, and all you wanted was someone real and solid who could promise things and mean them.
The Nature of Beauty (Harry/Neville) ~ Harry learns something about beauty.
Neville stood. "That's why I spend so much time out here, really." He walked to the tall, red flowers in front of him, cradling a blossom in his hand. "Look at this flower, Harry. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Almost breaks your heart to look at it, doesn't it?" He turned to the blue flowers to his left. "Then turn, and there's another, just as perfect, and another and another. And I put them here. I planted and cared for them. I gave them their home, and sometimes, when it's just me here, me and them, I almost think they know it." He looked at Harry, eyes shining. "This is the beauty I can have, Harry. And-- well, it's enough."
Something Small (Harry) ~ Dark-ish. Four drabbles.
Sometimes when Ron is talking, Harry wonders what it would be like to reach out with his mind and press on the side of his head. Gentle at first, no more than a feather's touch to Ron. He wonders then how it would feel to push a little harder, to watch Ron's temple indent gracefully until the pressure finally cracked his skull. He wonders how Ron's face would look... horror mixed with fascination... adrenalin so strong he couldn't tell fear from pleasure.
A Meddlesome Sort (Harry/Neville) ~ Harry daydreams. Neville is meddlesome. This leads to fluff.
"Harry, you coming with?"

"What? No!" Harry jumped in his chair. It was Neville Longbottom this time. "I mean... what?" Now that Harry thought about it, it was always Neville Longbottom these days. In fact, he couldn't think of the last time he'd been startled by anyone other than Neville. He supposed that everyone else had stopped bothering with him when he was obviously deep in thought. He liked that about them. Neville Longbottom was a meddlesome sort.

Drabbles & Double-Drabbles

A River in Egypt ~ Harry/Draco | And she must have missed... ~ Hermione | Breach ~ Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks | Conscription ~ Draco | Even If You See 'Em Coming ~ Hermione | From that point on it's all dropping bodies ~ Harry/Draco | If The Sky Falls Down ~ Harry/Neville | Imperfect Knowledge ~ Remus | Lost ~ Harry/Neville | Magic ~ Willow/Hermione | Man of Constant Sorrow ~ Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks | Natural ~ Harry/Neville | Not That I Don't Like Waltzing ~ Remus/Sirius | Practice ~ Ron/Hermione | Ragged ~ Remus/Rosmerta | Rapture ~ Peter | Reconciliation ~ Harry/Draco | Red ~ Harry, Ron | Safe ~ Harry/Charlie | Secret ~ Fred/George | Shadow ~ Harry/Draco | Slow Learner ~ Ron/Hermione | Solitary ~ Harry | Something Bad ~ Harry/Neville | The Match ~ Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny | The Pensieve ~ Harry/Draco | The Rainstorm ~ Neville/Charlie | The Soft Drink Offensive ~ Draco/Diet Coke | The Zoombite ~ Harry/Neville | Together ~ Harry, Remus | Unexpected ~ Draco/Luna | Want ~ Harry/Draco | What's Inside ~ Harry | Wishes ~ Hermione | With a Name I've Never Chosen - Harry | Hero ~ Harry | Home ~ Harry | Mother's Day ~ Harry | The Power of Wishing ~ Draco | Waiting for Light ~ Harry/Draco

~Banana Fish~

Maybe the way lovers do (Ash/Eiji) ~ Banana Fish ~ Eiji is given an unexpected opportunity.
"No," Eiji said, pushing himself up on his elbows.

Ash paused, hovering catlike over Eiji, skin glowing in the moonlight. "I thought this was what you wanted."

Eiji sat up, pulling Ash's hands to his chest. "Other people have always been taking from you. That is all they do," he said. "If this is my one chance, I want to give you something."
If this had been a story (Ash/Eiji) ~ Banana Fish ~ "If this had been a story, they would have slipped away to the garden."
If this had been a story, they would have slipped away to the garden. They would have made their excuses to Eiji's family, cheeks tinged pink with too much sake, ignored his sister's giggles as their arms brushed once too often, and slipped away into the moonlight, the thick summer air, and the heavy scent of jasmine. Ash and Eiji, just boys after all, they'd have joked and laughed and indulged their precious happiness under the wide night sky.

~Hikaru no Go~

Makka na Ito (Hikaru, Akira, Waya) ~ Hikaru no Go ~ Hikaru is confronted by some complicated feelings and Ko Yongha's stupid hair. Waya helps.
Waya looked at the stone and back up at Hikaru, "Dude, you are going down."

Hikaru glanced back at the board, the back of his brain automatically calculating his comeback, while the
front of his brain seemed to be completely lost and just the slightest bit dizzy. His cheeks were burning, and he wasn't sure what was happening, but it felt seriously weird, and he was pretty sure he didn't want it to be happening in front of Waya's entire study group, especially Ochi, who was eyeing him like his next meal. Hikaru laughed again, running his hand over his hair. "Ah, ha ha, you're gonna kill me, but I just remembered I have to go."
Telepathic (Hikaru/Akira) ~ Hikaru no Go ~ Hikaru persuades Akira to try something unusual.
Hikaru opens his eyes, face burning, breathing hard, carefully not looking at the front of his jeans, and Touya is just sitting there, eyes closed, calm as can be. Hikaru is afraid to speak, because who the hell knows what he'll sound like right now, but finally he manages. "Touya."
Ruined (Hikaru/Ko Yongha) ~ Hikaru no Go ~ Hikaru runs into an old rival at the second Hokuto Cup. Rated R.
"Hey," Hikaru said, desperately summoning some level of dignity. "I don't know what kind of seriously wrong Japanese lessons you've been taking, but we do not use... ear licking as a polite greeting!"
He was never a genius (Hikaru/Ensemble) ~ Hikaru no Go/xxxHolic ~ Hikaru stumbles into an unexpected place.
The girl's eyes are so big, and so, so serious. "Sai," she says. "He knows."

And suddenly Hikaru has been hit by a bullet train, or that's what it feels like, and he's sitting on the ground with tears in his eyes, and the little girl is smiling, like she's just given him a gift, which he's pretty sure she has.

Drabbles: Fire ~ Touya Akira | Sunbeam ~ Hikaru, Akira


Like The Doors Of My House (Doumeki/Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ Watanuki must confront his feelings for Doumeki the day before Valentine's Day.
"So Shizuka finally made his move," Haruka said, leaning against a pole that appeared in the blackness. The smoke from his cigarette curled around his head. "He's a patient boy." He tilted his head, lips pursed in concern. "He must be very worried right now."

"Oh, I--" Watanuki frowned.

Haruka leaned toward him. "Do you really want to miss this, Watanuki-kun?" His eyes were twinkling.
Ineptitude (Doumeki/Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ Doumeki takes a chance.
Watanuki's face is turning red, from anger or embarrassment, Doumeki isn't sure, but he decides to act while there's still doubt, so he leans in and kisses him. It's a clumsy kiss, and Watanuki tries to jerk away, but the corner is too close for him to get far, and Doumeki wants to get his point across. Finally he pulls back, eyes on Watanuki, waiting for what will happen next.
So the world doesn't end after all (Doumeki, Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ "So the world doesn't end after all, and when all of the fighting is over and the dust has settled, things become small and quiet again."
They walk in silence, but silence with Watanuki is different than silence without him, and Doumeki is beginning to realize this difference might matter, so it's Watanuki who eventually breaks it, just as they are approaching the school gates.

"Doumeki," he says, glaring vaguely in the vicinity of Doumeki's elbow. "You know I--" His eyebrows furrow. "There's enough in the bento for you."

And this time the word escapes Doumeki's mouth before he can stop it. "Why?"
The moon should have risen an hour ago (Watanuki, Doumeki, Yuuko, Mugetsu) ~ xxxHolic ~ That time comes.
The wail comes again, even louder, and the hole is practically upon them, swallowing up most of the yard, and the wind pulls one of the lanterns from the roof of the porch and into the blackness. Watanuki feels Doumeki's hand on his arm, and whips his head around, ready to complain, but something in Doumeki's look stops him. The wind is whipping violently around them, and it is all Watanuki can do to stay standing.
Luck Charm (Doumeki/Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ Doumeki gives Watanuki an unusual gift.
"Why does Watanuki stay in school?" Mokona asked brightly, plopping himself smack in the middle of Watanuki's book. "Watanuki misses so many days!"

Watanuki brushed him away, scowling. He didn't respond.

"He wants something normal," Doumeki said.
Kohane's Wish (Doumeki/Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ Watanuki wants to pay for Kohane's wish, but the price is more than he expected.
"The price," Doumeki said, his voice flat. "If you'd paid the price, I don't think you'd be here. So you must not have paid it yet." He still hadn't moved, not even to look up, but his shoulders tensed. "Why?"

"I--" Watanuki stopped.
Why? Why was he standing here, instead of helping Kohane-chan? His heart was pounding loudly in his ears, and nothing made sense, or at least not the sense he was used to. His head was dizzy with a strange combination of terror and relief, and it was as he tried to reconcile these truly insane feelings that he heard himself say, "I don't think I want to." His hand flew up to cover his mouth, but it was too late. The world went suddenly quiet.
Actuality (Doumeki/Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic ~ Doumeki and Watanuki try to figure out what's real.
The first time it happened, they were running from something that Doumeki wished he couldn't see, and was unable to forget afterward. They reached the temple where Doumeki lived, and fell near each other on the futon that had held Watanuki once in illness, and lately quite often for reasons Doumeki wasn't sure about, but didn't really feel like questioning.
In which Oz has a wish, Watanuki is Not Like That, and Doumeki is inconveniently located as usual. (Neville/Oz, Watanuki) ~ xxxHolic/HP/BTVS ~ Just silly.
Yūko smiled. "So how might I help you?"

"There's a girl," he said, "an old friend. She's gotten into trouble."

"Again," Watanuki thought he heard Oz-san's companion mutter under his breath.

~Miscellaneous Drabbles & Double-Drabbles~
Blue ~ River | Dignity ~ Mal/Inara | First Sight ~ Jayne/Vera | Forgetting ~ River | Living as Gods ~ Andrew/Elijah | Real ~ Dom/Tom | Remembering ~ Oz/Tara | Spring - River/Simon | Tastes Like Butt ~ Andrew/Elijah | Word of the Day ~ Dom/Elijah

To read the collaborative work of dorrie6 and marginalia, check out:

Dorrito's Every Flavour Mood Beans | Waiting: The Prizoner of Azkaban Drabble Project
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